#7 Russell Madness

My face watching this movie.

The Movie: Russell Madness. 2015.- Written by Aaron Brooks Directed by Robert Vince. Staring:  John Ratzenberger and no one else.

Guys, this movie... Woof. If you're hoping for another shinning review (ala my review of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie), you're really barking up the wrong tree. (Bow) wow is the movie bad. I wish I could throw you guys a bone, but I'm going to have to play the heel.

and so on.

Dog puns aside, I'm just like you at home. I see a movie with this poster, and I desperately want to love it. I love the Air Bud movies, and this is from the studio that brought us the greatest line in film history ("there's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't play basketball") so what happened? I watch this and I see nothing.

The story is what you'd expect. Russell is a jack russell terrier and can't find a home, then he finds a home, then he becomes a professional wrestler.

Let's get this out of the way quickly. I love pro wrestling. I always have. Upon hearing that several of you just in your mind jumped to the thought "you know it's fake right?".... um. duh. Most of the things I love are fake. It's a television show. I don't expect everything I watch on tv to be reality, and to think that the fans of wrestling don't know that is silly. People get caught up in the stories, and the characters of wrestling. Yes there is a physical element to it (and quite honestly everyone in a promotion is of the caliber of a professional athlete.) but that's not really the point. Everyone who isn't 7 who likes wrestling knows that its fake, and that's ok.

This movie doesn't seem to know that. 

The movie hides the fact that wrestling is a scripted television show, and when the bad guys come up with the idea of creating storylines they are scolded by our heroes (A little boy, a man child, a talking monkey and a jack russell terrier that chokes a dude out at the beginning of the film.)

It's crazy that a movie that is seemingly trying to appeal to wrestling fans could botch this so badly. I don't get it. I wanted a silly movie, but what I got was a talking monkey that gets like an hour of the screen time, and a dog that keeps peeing in everyone's faces. 

Should you watch this movie?: NO. I could see you having a fine hate watch, but honestly there are better bad movies.

Where can I watch this movie?: Streaming on Netflix

Thanks again guys. I'm really feeling like I'm finding my footing. If you have comments leave them below, and if you'd like to choose the movie I do next, you should comment there too. Thanks to Nick Canon and Ami Hickmon for the suggestion.