#20 I, Frankenstein

The Movie: I, Frankenstein 2014. Written and Directed by Stuart Beattie Staring: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, and Jai Courtney

I'm really good at having opinions. I don't mean to brag (and in fact I think it's not something to brag about) but I really know how to express why I enjoy or do not enjoy something. I always have. But every so often there comes along something that neither immediately tickles my fancy, nor does it raise any alarms. Quite often these are things I can do with out, since the opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. However there is an even rarer bird, something so indescribably interesting and grotesque that I can't claim to not care. Fascinating in ways and dull and boring in others.

Guys... I really don't know how I feel about I, Frankenstein...


So I'm a little under 2/3rds of the way through Octerrible, and this week, I decided to focus on the forgotten Good-Bad movies. Everyone has seen the Room, or Birdemic (and if they haven't you must it's required viewing) but these lesser films have their place too. Grease 2 showed me that bizarre isn't always good, and The Scorpion King taught me that Charisma can straight up save a sinking ship. so tonight I watched I, Frankenstein... for my fourth time.

I caught the movie the first time at a matinee. At first pass, I think I loved it. The costumes are ridiculous, the plot is a mishmash of other films and craziness, and the characters speak in nothing but hyperbolic platitudes like some sort of memory game that an improv troupe in Indiana would teach the homeless for charity.

The second time I watched it alone on VOD. I had been house sitting for my mother and I was very bored. I remembered really liking the film and put it on. This time, I remember being quite disappointed. What I had written off as camp seemed hacky and self serious.

The third time, I watched it with friends. We rented it on a whim, when we thought it would be fun to watch and riff on a bad movie. I suggested it, and this time I think I was the only one who enjoyed it. Everyone else seemed a little peeved at my choice, (although we did have fun cracking jokes about Aaron Eckheart's butt chin) This time though, seeing my friends suffer through it, the camp returned. It seemed as a second coming of the Power Rangers Movie (down to the bad guy looking exactly like Ivan Ooze)

Four times. I've spent 6 hours of my life watching this movie. Was it worth it? ... I don't know. 

The movie is a modern retelling of the Frankenstein story. It's actually pretty close for a while. Guy makes a monster, monster comes to life, monster kills guy in the snow. but then... oh boy then Angels(?) come down to kill some demons who are about to kill Adam (the monster, played by O'l butt chin himself) the angels take the form of gargoyles sometimes (?) because...  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They tell him about a secret order, blah blah blah now it's modern day and the demons are making dead bodies that are alive (like Adam) so that they can possess them and then angles can't kill them(?) so Adam and some girl who couldn't have mattered less to the plot and the angles go beat up the bad guys. also Bill Nighy looks like this!


So where do I fucking start with this movie? Its not good. At least not on purpose, which is too bad because I feel like Aarron Eckheart should be a thing, but he is decidedly not. He's my favorite part of a lot of movies, but he's just terrible at making decisions on the pictures he makes. Still, this movie is fun? I don't know. I've definitely had fun watching it before. I give it 5 out of 5 butt chins! 

Should you watch this movie?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Where can I watch this movie? Netflix,  or my house every once in a while

This is a Soap

Recommendation: This movie is giving me a weird existential crisis where I don't know what I like anymore, so I guess I'm going to recommend... Soap? yeah, just like the basic idea of soap. It's really helpful for getting grease off things and it makes things clean and stuff.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯