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| I chose this photo for any of you that have fond memories of this movie. |
(Int. board room)
10 nameless white men in business suits sit at a table clamoring These are the taste makers. The deciders of all pop culture. The Studio Executives of Happy Madison Productions. An older man sits at the head of the table, like a king. His underlings clamor in an anxious flurry of fear and sweat. The room goes silent, as the Boss tilts his head toward one of the men sitting near him, propositioning him to speak
Studio Exec 1: What if we did a modern retelling of It's a Wonderful Life?
Studio Exec 2: But we can edge it up! Like make it wackier!
Studio Exec 2: But we can edge it up! Like make it wackier!
The boss is silent. He strokes his chin with the front of his fat middle finger. The whole room waits on bated breath before finally the man speaks.
Studio Boss: ...That is brilliant. Who do you think we should get for the Jimmy Stewart role?
Studio Exec 2: How about the guy that played the Waterboy and Little Nicky?
Studio Boss: We're going to make so much money you guys.
Budget | $82.5 million |
|---|---|
| Box office | $237.6 million |
And so it was
I really have to stop looking up how much these movies make... I think it's driving me a little crazy. So here we are, the twenty of you that read these every day. (unless I watch a movie that only I love like Masters of the Universe- in which case I'm pretty sure, I'm just shouting into the void) If you're still reading these I really appreciate your time. We're about halfway through, both Octerrible and Adam Sandler Week so I thought now would be the time to tackle a perhaps more beloved Sandler offering. I have family that seriously love this movie, and I remember kind of liking it as a kid (I would have been 14) but I don't think I've seen it since I was a child.
Um... so this movie is just It's a Wonderful Life... So if you like it, maybe you just like It's a Wonderful Life. Or hokey family messages. or two dogs double penetrating a stuffed duck (I refuse to allow any rose tented viewers forget that happens in this film)
The story is pretty simple. Adam Sandler (past readers know that Adam Sandler characters don't have names)is a hardworking architect. He gets a magical remote from the beyond section of Bed Bath and Beyond from Christopher Walken (who, spoiler is the living embodiment of death) Sandler can use this remote to control time. He uses the pause button to mess with his boss, he uses the fast forward to skip fights with his wife, and family dinners and being sick. and he uses slow motion to check out an attractive woman's chest as she's running. but wait! there is an ironic twist! if he uses fast forward, the remote is programmed to always skip when those moments happen in life. because of this he keeps skipping large chunks of his life, leading to him missing his childrens entire childhood, and his divorce and dying.
BUT WAIT! AGAIN! it's all a dream. and he learns a lesson. And then two dogs hump a stuffed duck.
-Fart noise-
So this movie isn't hard to watch. It's actually pretty easy to take in. But it's so by the numbers. there is not a single laugh out loud moment (something that Billy Madison and Pixels could accomplish at least once) It's really not funny, and it doesn't even seem to be trying. I would almost accuse it of being emotionally manipulative. It has pretty clear cry breaks. It takes time, and plays hokey sad music over moments to make sure that everyone's grandpa understands how he's supposed to be feeling.
Should you watch this movie? No. It's a nothing movie. If you must, catch it on cable. But if you enjoy this kind of film, you probably aren't listening to my recommendations anyway.
Where can I watch this move? Netflix. or tbs like every other week
Recommendation: So today I'm recommending something I've loved for a long time. When I first moved out to Texas, this was the first piece of entertainment that got me through the slog that is assimilation.
Cracked's After Hours is perhaps the best debate show on youtube. In it Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Katie Willert discuss things like "Which Apocalypse would be the most fun?" "Is batman good or bad for gotham?""Which "Friend" would be the best actual friend" and of course "The Pixar shared universe theory" (which originated from this website) All the videos are about 5-8 min long, and are totally worth your while. You can find a compendium for the series here. I think you'll really dig it.
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