#19 Grease 2

The Movie:Grease 2. 1982. Written by Ken Finkleman Directed by Patricia Birch Staring: Maxwell Caulfield and Michelle Pfeiffer

I love musicals. I always have. Movie musicals are not without their flaws, but I love several regardless of whether something is better on stage or not. My car is named Audrey, and when it becomes a mess I call it two-y (because it eats everything.) I think Bye Bye Birdie is incredible in film, and even though it might be the lesser product, I prefer the film version of The Producers.

So now that I've explained that I don't hate the genre, let me tell you why Grease (and it's sequel) are trash

Don't get it twisted, Grease has great music, and it is a rare case of a movie musical being far superior to it's stage counterpart. I understand the love (though perhaps I don't share it) of the first film. It's kitschy, it's glib, it's cute, and the music is very memorable. The costumes are awesome and the dancing is crazy and fun.

But I fucking hate that movie. 

There's no story, not one that makes any sense from a dramatic standpoint anyway. I'll reiterate it from memory, Two kids meet over summer break, fall in love* but when they come back to school, she likes him but hes got to be cool. blah blah blah, Olivia Newton John dresses in hot leather pants and they live happily ever after. Also, a teenage girl gets pregnant, but in the end TWIST she's not.

That's not how stories work. There is no drama in that story. Grease isn't all flash and no substance, it's just afterglow. It's the IDEA of fun mixed with hot young actors and a catchy tune. If you like it, I understand, but it's seriously one of my least favorite movies ever.

Grease 2 is the same story, except remove the summer loving and swap the genders. Also add a weird sub plot where the main guy is pretending to be a superhero (?) greaser and a song about reproduction where they just explain a lot of really helpful facts about reproduction in the animal kingdom. 

Oh grease 2. What to say about this garbage fire? It's already a laughing stock of a film, so anything I say here is honestly not going to take it down a peg. I think that might have affected my enjoyment of the movie a bit. Sure Grease 2 is a terrible movie,  but it's not a situation where I feel like I'm crazy. I think Grease's fanbase might have made me hate the film all the more, but here it doesn't exist, so I can just watch this bizarre movie where every song is about sex, but I'm not sure whoever wrote it knows what sex is.

Should you watch this movie? No. I mean, you can and you might even like it. But it's not required viewing. It's bizarre and you might like the choreography, but the music is forgettable and the acting is crazy bad

Where can I watch this? Netflix

Recommendation: I've been playing video games since I was a kid. I've already covered on past articles that I grew up (for a time) in Hawaii. I had always been a Sega elitist (oh woe is me) as a smaller child, but it was there that I found the Nintendo games I had always shunned. I got a Nintendo 64 and a Gameboy color for Christmas in 1998. With it, I received  Links Awakening one of the most challenging games I'd ever played (I was 7 at the time) To this day it's still one of my favorites to replay. It was something that gave me a sense of accomplishment as a kid, and taught me problem solving skills that I still find myself thinking about today. It builds upon what Link to the Past had done in a side quest that is all together weird and unlike the Zelda games to come. You can play it in the E-Shop on both Nintendo 3DS, Wii and Wii U. It is definitely a must play.