#10 Spy Kids 3D: Game Over

The Movie: Spy Kids 3D: Game Over 2003. Written and Directed by Robert Rodriguez. Staring: Daryl Sabara, Ricardo Montalbán, Holland Taylor, Mike Judge, Cheech Marin, Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alexa Vega, and Sylvester Stallone as The Toymaker

We live in a world when the visual effects of a film are almost always of a high caliber, even in a bad movie. If you went back and showed Battleship to someone from 1995 they'd probably be blown away. So the baromitor of a movie is no longer how it looks (though that certainly matters) Because of that, it's refreshing to look back at a movie series like the Spy Kids series, a set of films unafraid to look very bad. 

The visual effects have not aged well, but honestly that gives these movies flavor. It makes the cartoonish things look cartoonish, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. The entire film takes place inside a video game (though I'm not sure Rodriguez knows how those work-more on that in a moment) so the effects being kinda hokey fits the time period and the world established by the script.

Long story short, I'm a fan of Spy Kids as a franchise.

I'm not positive how I feel about this movie. Our story starts with Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) as a PI who has been burned by the OSS (the spy agency from the last two films, this is a sequel you won't understand out of context) He is contacted by the president (George Clooney) who tells him he has to save his sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) who is trapped in the soon-to-be-released-game Game Over. Juni relents and enters the game (this is our cue as an audience to put on our 3D glasses)

We meet the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone having more fun than I've ever seen him have) who has been imprisoned (?) inside this game and who is secretly manipulating Juni into freeing him. There are several great sequences with The Toymaker and his digital clones who represent part of his psyche (a hard-ass, dressed like a solider, a down to earth hippie, and a intellectual scientist). Stallone gives each character a unique style and really goes for it.

Juni must reach level four to find his sister and then shut off the game in (the unbeatable) level five. He uses his lifeline (?) to bring his grandpa (Ricardo Montalbán) into the game. They do a bunch of video game things (robot fights, Pod Racing) and then find Carmen and leave the game.

BUT WAIT! Grandpa Cortez purposefully lets the Toymaker free in our world! (we learn The Toymaker was responsible for Grandpa's paralysis, oh shit, yeah, also grandpa is paralyzed) The entire cast of the last two movies is called in to fight the toymaker and his robots (?) but grandpa goes into the Toymakers mech... Toymech and tells him he forgives him for his mistake, and then... everybody just forgets all of this happened. Kind of a bummer.

So right off the bat, this movie is pretty dumb. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it really stretches the boundaries. The video game itself often doesn't make much sense, each player has 9 lives and they lose them seemingly at random. A 3 story fall loses 1 life, getting poked in the chest by a robot? 4 lives. 

Also, I think it's important to discuss Rodriguez as a director. I think he's a phenomenal talent, but he's not much of an actor coach. He really needs an actor to be naturally charismatic to succeed. This works very well for Antonio Banderas, Ricardo Montalban, Danny Trejo, Sylvester Stallone, and even Alexa Vega. Who it does not help is poor Daryl Sabara who has a rare condition that sucks all energy from a scene. He's like Rogue but with acting. He was a kid, so I feel bad ragging on him, but there's a reason Alexa Vega still does things, and he doesn't.

The saving grace for the entire movie is Stallone, who puts in so much work. Long gone is the mumble-y grunting ape you might expect him to play. Here I'd liken him to Jim Carrey's Riddler from Batman Forever (though a little more subtle) as in: he's the bright spot in an otherwise pretty bad movie.

Should I watch this movie? Maybe. All in all the movie is light and dumb, but not fun enough to go out of your way.

Where can I watch this movie? Netflix. It's also on cable like every 3 weeks, which honestly might be the ideal way to watch.

Thanks for reading. If you have comments or questions or think I'm totally wrong comment below.